3 Ways to Build Resilience and Overcome Adversity

I knew the bike ride wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t realize how grueling it would be—I almost quit.

It was August 2024, three years after I moved to Chicagoland from Colorado.

My soul yearned to return to the replenishing mountains—a place where I had often found refreshment amidst life’s joys and challenges.

The mountains called, and I followed.

My wife couldn’t join the adventure due to work and a wedding engagement, so I decided to travel with my four-year-old and seven-year-old daughters. Yes, just me and the two girls.

And we didn’t fly; we drove.

I wanted to save money and bring my bike—and the bike trailer for the kids—for a biking adventure. So we drove over 14 hours from Chicago to Colorado, stopping at a hotel in Nebraska so the kids could enjoy the pool and we could rest.

Once in Colorado, my soul longed for the mountains, and I made sure to immerse myself in them every day of our weeklong trip.

The last two days were spent in Breckenridge with my friend Daniel and his two sons—two dads and four kids in one Airbnb. Good times!

Breckenridge is a winter ski town and a fantastic biking destination in the summer. I had my heart set on biking from Breckenridge to Frisco. One website described the ride as an easy 20-mile route.

Or so I thought.

Daniel pulled his two sons in his bike trailer, and I pulled my two daughters in mine—over 80 lbs of combined weight!

The 10-mile ride to Frisco was spectacular. The views were breathtaking, and the experience felt almost otherworldly.

But the ride back to Breckenridge? That was a different story. About four miles in, I thought, I’m not sure I can make it back.

The last six miles were some of the most grueling physical challenges I’ve faced. It felt like running a marathon. I almost gave up.

But I didn’t.

By God’s grace, I persisted.

I overcame the adversity. And in the process, I strengthened my resilience.

Persisting through adversity is never easy, but it’s essential for thriving in life and leadership.

Here’s a universal truth we all know in our hearts: life comes with adversity and challenges.

So how do we overcome obstacles when they come?

Here are three ways:

1. Delight in the Journey

Why did I put myself through the torture of pulling 80+ lbs for 20 miles on a non-electric mountain bike? Because of delight.

I delight in the mountains.

I delight in making memories with my kids. I’ll never forget them falling asleep in the bike trailer (though I sometimes wished it was me), laughing at silly things, or counting to one thousand as best they could. These moments are etched in my heart forever.

I delight in the journey.

The true thrill of any endeavor isn’t just the destination—it’s the journey.

In his biography The Mamba Mentality: How I Play, the late basketball legend Kobe Bryant wrote: 

“The mindset isn’t about seeking a result—it’s more about the process of getting to that result. It’s about the journey and the approach. It’s a way of life.”

The joy is in the process, and the result is simply the cherry on top.

Think about a recent sacrifice you made. Maybe it was a courageous conversation, a late night preparing for a test, or long hours spent on a project.

You didn’t just endure the process for the result—a strong relationship, an A on your test, or an impactful presentation—you also found satisfaction in the process of improving.

Resilient people delight in the journey of getting better.

2. Focus on the Next Move

Around mile 14 of our 20-mile ride, I was ready to quit.

The hills and elevation gains felt impossible. My body was exhausted, and my lungs were burning.

But one thing kept me going: I focused on the next move.

Instead of worrying about the six grueling miles ahead, I broke the journey into smaller steps.

“Just get up this hill.”

“Bike to that tree.”

“Take a water break at the next bench.”

Instead of fixating on the mountain, I focused on the next move.

In her book Dynamic Drive: The Purpose-Fueled Formula for Sustainable Success (highly recommended!), Molly Fletcher writes:

 “A next play mentality demands that you don’t dwell on what happened but focus on what happens next.”

Don’t dwell on the careless words you said to your spouse or coworker—focus on your next conversation.

Don’t dwell on the bad grade you received—focus on your next study session.

Don’t dwell on a poor presentation or sermon—focus on delivering a better one next time.

Resilient leaders don’t fixate on their problems. They focus on their next move to grow stronger.

3. Lean Into Support

I remember stopping at mile 15 and telling my friend Daniel, “I don’t think I can make it. We should call an Uber.”

Daniel replied, “Let’s just keep going.”

At mile 18, we stopped at a playground to let the kids play. I said again, “Let’s call an Uber.”

Daniel said, “We’re almost there—just two more miles. We can do this.”

Every time I doubted myself, Daniel encouraged me to press on.

Looking back, I know the main reason I finished that 20-mile ride was because I had someone who believed in me.

In his book Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences, Carey Nieuwhof writes about his experience with burnout. 

At his lowest point, a friend told him: “I know you can’t feel it today, but the sun will rise again. It will.”

Those words gave him hope.

Why do friendships matter? Because we need people who believe in us when we’ve stopped believing in ourselves.

Daniel was my support on the bike ride.

When Jesus faced His greatest trial in the Garden of Gethsemane, He leaned on His Father in prayer, saying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).

We know how the story unfolds: Jesus surrendered to God’s purpose, sacrificing His life to rescue humanity and restore our relationship with Him. Now that’s the ultimate expression of love and sacrifice!

But did you catch the first word of Jesus' prayer? 

Father.

When Jesus faced his mountain, he leaned on his Father for support. 

When you face your mountain, lean into your support system—friends, family, mentors, God.

Learning to delight in the journey, focusing on the next move, and leaning into support are essential practices for building resilience and overcoming tough times.

So, what’s your next move?